The Coaching Gym
Posts Tagged ‘in my body’
Many people are manipulated by fear, shame, and guilt. When I studied marketing and advertising in undergrad, I realized that people would make buying decisions that were largely based upon scarcity.
This is the premise behind having a sale – and the scarcity (fear of loss) anchor can be leveraged by pointing out how much a customer will “save” by buying now. In reality, they’re not saving anything – they are spending less.
There are many more examples I could share with you and they all tap into fear, shame, and guilt. Be free! Understand how your buying strategy works or how you make decisions (to fall in love, to choose friends, to choose what you eat, or why not to exercise 
)so that you are the one in control of your life!
A synesthstesia is a neurologically-based phenomenon in which stimulation of one of the five senses results in an automatic and involuntary experience in a different sense.
Here’s an example: See a chocolate truffle and your mouth begins to water. Or you could smell chocolate and experience the same. For some people, just reading these words about chocolate is causing their mouths to water… 
Funny huh?
Or if chocolate isn’t your thing try pizza, a burrito, or your favorite snack…
Now, on the other hand sometimes synethstesias aren’t the most beneficial:
That’s when hearing your boss’ voice gives you the chills or looking at an audience that you will be addressing causes you to feel shaky inside. A common one is when a couple has been together for a certain amount of time and they begin to “mind-read” each other and assume that certain likes have specific meanings. We’ve probably all experienced that look from our significant other that causes us to feel defensive.
But, you don’t have to…
Most personal development coaches who use neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) or Ericksonian hypnosis with their clients should understand that synesthstesias are elicited in powerful strategies. Usually a non-beneficial strategy looks like this:
Visual External > (-) Kinesthetic Internal
So, an explanation of the formula above could be seeing something or someone that causes a person to have a negative or undesirable feeling internally (emotion or body sensation like tightness in the stomach or weakness in the knees). While a beneficial strategy could look like this:
Visual External > Kinesthetic Internal
The only difference between a beneficial strategy and a non-beneficial strategy is simply how you feel internally. Yep, those emotions again.
Nearly every time that I work with a client I use synesthstesia to link positive emotions around a situation. It would feel great to find that every time you saw your boss or heard your boss’s voice that you felt a sense of calm, confident clarity wash over your body, wouldn’t it? Or, the moment you left work you suddenly begin to feel a great desire to go exercise…
There are lots of options! And, a lot can be changed in your life by learning how to control synesthstesias. If you see how I can help, just let me know.
Be Amazing!
What is the coaching process that Michael J. Emery uses with his clients?
I get this question quite often.
Is there a path that I follow? Do address certain things in specific orders?
Not particularly…
Oh, oh, oh can we create a timeline and write down goals?
Sure – if that’s something that has worked for you in the past…
There are three specific steps that occur when I work with a client. The very first step is to put out what I refer to as: the immediate fires. It’s like triage. How do we get a client up to speed? Whether that’s making more money, smoothing out relationship challenges, health changes, and esteem improvements. identify client’s current beliefs about him/herself and what their desires are at the present time. This is about solving the daily dilemmas and crisis that arise.
As this is occurring, a client will begin to become consciously aware of the beliefs that operate within their paradigm. Sometimes the client actually isn’t ready to identify beliefs. Some people just want a situational change. Usually though, while working with a person during their first few sessions – seemingly unrelated elements in other areas of his/her life will begin to come up and this person will be faced with addressing them. When those elements that “pop up” are addressed they often reveal the beliefs that created them in the first place. Addressing and identifying the client’s beliefs is the second step.
As human beings, we learn through association. Every thing that happens to us, serves to reinforce or create a belief that operates within our current paradigm. (This might be philosophically heavy for some people, and if so think of it like this: you’ll notice whatever you pay attention to… if you like shiny, new, red cars then you probably won’t notice all the old white ones out there.)
So, where I’m going with this is that whatever happened in your life includes the entire environment during that situation – yes, all the stuff you didn’t notice or were not paying attention to at the time. Most of us create a cause and effect relationship in our mind. “That thing” happened to me in the past and that’s why I am who I am today.
Well, maybe…? We just don’t have enough information to conclude that one distant event defines ALL of who you are today and what you are capable of tomorrow.
As these realizations begin to dawn in a client’s mind, a lot of flexibility enters into the coaching session and we spend less time working on putting out the “fires” and more time creating a resourceful belief system.
Lastly, in the third step there is the point when a client’s focus shifts from having problems and challenges to just wanting more resources. He/She has learned how to manage his/her emotional states and understands how to use anchors, synesthesias, swish patterns, and all the techniques to his/her advantage. This is the point that a client realizes that personal development or self-actualization is a journey. We heal ourselves and find ourselves in a position to heal others – in turn, we think bigger and face the challenges of growth and must grow and heal again. It’s a process. It’s change. And, it’s one of the few things you can count on with consistency.
